Numbers at Ninety: Rugminy’s Story

At 90, Rugminy Mami, as this retired teacher is fondly called by everybody, is a bundle of energy and takes care of the accounts at the local temple in Maryland, USA. Her story is also one of adapting to a new country in the best way possible, no matter what the age.

Ninety year old Rugminy Mami’s voice comes floating over the phone across the seven seas, jovial and excited. The lady who describes herself as an “ordinary woman” has had a simple yet extraordinary life. Fate dealt her a cruel blow early on but Rugminy had a never say quit spirit that saw her educating her children and then educating herself further in a foreign land. Her story is also an example of how best to adapt to life in a different country and keep yourself motivated and busy enough to do something good, not just for your own self but also the others. Today she is in charge of accounts and other activities at the Siva Vishnu temple in Maryland, USA and despite her age, still volunteers there as actively as she did many years ago.

The nonagenarian moved to US permanently to help her daughter raise children in 1972. She has been one of the people instrumental in setting up the Siva Vishnu temple that serves as a community hub for Indians in Maryland and start Shloka classes for children, her small contribution towards “teaching Indian children a little bit about their culture.”

Married at 13, Rugminy Gopalakrishnan lost her husband at a very young age. “I wanted to educate my daughter though the family was against me sending girls to medical school. She educated both her children by working as a teacher herself and after her children moved to US, she too moved there later to be close to them and help them raise their kids. As her grandchildren were growing up and did not need her as much, Rugminy decided to put her time to good use and did a Montessori teacher training course. This was after the age of 45! “I was studying along with the grandkids,” she remembers with a laugh.

A question from one of her grandchildren, on why the family did not visit any place on Sunday, unlike many of their friends who went to Church, prompted her think about raising funds along with other friends to set up a temple.

“All these years I had done my duty for my children and then grandchildren. Now it was time to do something for the community,” says the energetic grand mom. Interestingly, Rugminy doesn’t consider herself a religious person. “The temple gave me a platform to serve the community,” she says, adding that she had always felt the need to do something for the greater good. She started classes for Shlokas and tales from the Panchatantra for the children, which are still running 35 years later! 

“The class has grown much bigger than when I started it,” Rugminy says with pride in her voice, adding that it is also open to all. 

Given her desire to serve the society, Rugminy also took in children from some African American single parent families, who were at a loose end after school as their mothers could not afford childcare. “We accommodated them after school in the quarters for the priest and taught them. Senior students from the community helped them out.” The work was appreciated and awarded by the Maryland county.

“I don’t much believe in rituals and puja,” says Rugminy, who volunteers at a kitchen run by the temple and has inculcated the spirit of volunteering among several children whom she has taught over the years in her Shloka class. “At 90, I strongly believe in energy and that if you work towards it, God will help you out. It has been relevant in my life and I wished to pass on these values to the children.”

When Rugminy looks back today, she sees not just the fulfilment of an idea to create a space to pass on cultural values to local Indian children but also children who have now grown up to be what she calls, “good citizens.”

Tireless as ever, Rugminy Mami as she is fondly called, spends a large part of her time at the Sri Siva Vishnu Temple, managing the accounts and helping with fundraising at times. She still does most of the calculations mentally! “I like to be there at the temple,” she says, adding that it gives her a sense of purpose and achievement. Fond of all kinds of music, especially Hindustani and Carnatic, Rugminy Mami has no intention of slowing down ever. I can almost hear the suppressed smile and see the twinkle in her eyes as she ends the conversation saying: This is the best way to grow old!

                                                 — Rugminy Gopalakrishnan spoke to Reshmi Chakraborty